Episode 47: Heartfelt Recognition and Gratitude for Recovery From Myocardial Bridge Heart Surgery.

SPEAKER_00 0:00

That's one of the toughest things is once you're so excited you got surgery done, you're seeing the process physically better, but a lot of the times we really forget that the mental has to heal as well. You've endured multiple times of rejection, multiple times getting told by professionals that it's in your head. And for years you've pursued what some of us think is a ghost. So it makes you question everything else around you too. You have to almost redefine those lines and those boundaries. And I think that's one of the toughest things that we get caught up in life when we don't end up doing, especially after having such an experience and another chance. You just want to take off and run with it and enjoy life. It's good. You know, that's the point why we have the surgery, but I think it's also warranted. Let's slow down, let's think about this. Have we worked through all the other aspects of what led to this surgery as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Most importantly is to have you leave each episode with hope, knowing you're not alone and that what you're experiencing is real. The story is all too familiar. Most of us know it by heart. We've been dismissed, gaslit, told it's in our head, only to find after doing our homework that our myocardial bridge is likely the cause of the symptoms we're experiencing. And that's a big part of our story today, to be sure. But it's not the full message. Many of us have been unroofed and are in much better shape afterward than before we had our surgeries. I believe I can speak for all of us in saying that we are unbelievably grateful for where we are today. We were incredibly appreciative for some time after surgery as well. And then we began to settle back into our normal routines. The things we did before. And sure, we might recognize the gift we've been given, but life just pulls us in. I saw a post on the Facebook page from John Chan that prompted me to reach out to him as it was a reflection on how easy it is to forget where we've come from. Forget our pain, our anxiety, our fear pre-surgery. And we get on with our lives. In some cases, even doing the things that may not be as healthy for us. For a young man in his early thirties, it's easy to get wrapped into life and to move on and forget what took place. But John didn't. He realized that it was important to not forget all that led up to the surgery and to work to give something back to those who continue on their journey to a solution for their symptoms. Regardless of where you are on your journey, you're going to appreciate this story. And it even has a couple of exciting twists that occurred post-surgery, partly due to the fact that he recognized his good fortune. John Chan, welcome to Imperfect Heart. Doing great and really looking forward to this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yeah, yeah, same, same. It's it's been a minute since we've talked. It's been a while.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Your story caught me at a perfect time on a recent post that you had made because I was just celebrating my third year anniversary. And you alluded to recognition of our gift, our gift of getting our lives back, our rebirth, our our surgery and unroofing really allowed us to get back to doing the things that we used to do. And so many times we take it for granted. It's it's easy to fall back and forget the entire journey, partly because we want to, but secondly because once that pain is gone, you do forget it. And it really goes and gets buried somewhere. But there's so much more to that story. And and you've uh uncovered a little bit of that in your post because you hadn't been active on the Facebook site for a while. And I want to talk a little bit about that. And before we get there, let's review your situation. Take us that few years back to the realization that something was happening with you that probably wasn't right. And tell us what you you know what brought it to the forefront.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Right. So, you know, it it started when I I've done athletics and I've been an active person all my life, never suffered through symptoms or anything like that, you know, through middle school, high school, very, very active runner. Post-high school, I started getting more into triathlons and more into endurance sports. And I I was I was able to do an Iron Man, multiple marathons, and just kind of kept that lifestyle going. And, you know, I felt great. I felt like I was in very good shape. But it, you know, it wasn't until I was doing a ultra marathon that I really started to notice that around mile 28 or so, I started getting really chest, really, you know, uncomfortable chest pains. And it wasn't palpitations per se, it was just it was tightness across the chest. And, you know, at mile 28, you're like, okay, I'm probably out of breath. I'm probably pushing myself a little hard. Let me start walking and you know, maybe drink some more electrolytes. You know, the world just comes, you know, you try to find the solution, but the last thing you think it's it's something deeper than that. So, you know, finish the race, everything's fine. I put it on the back of my mind. I'm said, hey, you know what? I didn't have the best performance, I didn't have the best training up to this. It's, you know, I'll get it the next time. So I started training again, getting more active, and I started noticing my athletic ability start declining pretty aggressively. And it wasn't a matter of years, it was a matter of months. And you know, within a span of six to eight months, I really, you know, I went from being able to hammer out a 10-mile run to maybe doing three miles, and I felt like I was at a 10-mile run. So I I knew something was wrong, you know. I knew, you know, there was something not right. And my heart rate, you know, I would get up to 120. And for people that are familiar with heart rates, you know, some distance runners can hold 150 for a long time and it's it fee it's okay. So, and that's where I normally was. And so, but I was at 120, I felt like I was at 160 and 170. And that was really, you know, I I I I was really, you know, I I had a feeling something was wrong, and that's really where my journey started to try to see what you know what was wrong. Was there something wrong? Was you know what?

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Right. Well, yeah, and first of all, I think you guys that do these ultra marathons are all crazy. We we have Sarah Miller from an earlier episode, same deal, big runner, and just just did her marathons and then did the ultras. A little bit older, and I think to testament to your benefit, she had a heart attack. Oh wow. And it you know, it took her out for a while, but uh it it displayed clearly what her issue was because they had to start searching now. Here's this you know, really fit woman doing marathons and ultras, and the next thing you know, she's incapacitated. You caught it early enough and you could see that there was deterioration quick enough that had you continued, the likelihood would have been that some something more catastrophic could have happened. So good good for you for recognizing it. Most of us tend to live in a little bit more denial, a little longer. You you had a little bit of it because you say, Oh, just keep going. Something's something's not right, but I'll turn it to the race, right? So what happened from that point, once you you recognized it, something's wrong, I gotta get this addressed. Then what happened?

SPEAKER_00 8:30

So I I I began my journey with cardiologists, you know, have I mean the most the biggest doctor's appointment I had before that was just a regular checkup. I mean, it wasn't anything big, and now here I am looking at cardiologists. So I'm in the room, I'm the youngest person in the room in the waiting room. And in my mind, I can think of am I am I making a big deal out of something? Is this you know, am I in my head? You know, and so of course, as many of you, the people probably listening, you know, the testing started, the stress tests, echodiagrams, heart rate monitors. I mean, it just started. And unfortunately, for about four or five years, I went through that loop. I went through that loop of just, you know, everything is fine, everything's normal. Your stress test came back phenomenal. You know, I would amaze the nurses when I was doing the stress test because they would really have to push my heart for them to get what they wanted to see, or try to make it, you know, you know, reproduce this tightness, or so, you know, it was it was very stressing and it was very, it started taking its toll mentally on me because I was told, hey, this is in your head, this is anxiety, this is you know, bad eating, you know, how's your diet? How's your lifestyle? So, you know, in the middle of all this, I, you know, stopped eating bad, I stopped drinking, I stopped, you know, I would get eight hours of sleep. I mean, you name it, I tried it. I mean, I was doing yoga, I was doing whatever, whatever I could do to try to make this go away because that's what I was being told. And, you know, that's one of the stressful things through that is that, you know, you want it believe you they make you believe that this is something that's in your control. And that's where it's tough. And I'm not, you know, trying to, you know, this is something still new. So it's it's good that we're, you know, getting out and educating people on this, but I went through many, many years of testing, denials, testing denials, some ER visits there because sometimes the the tightness was just too much and it was scary. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, and you know, I went to go get checked up and I would stay there the night and nothing would come of it. You know, everything's fine. You're in your head, you know, try to get more sleep. So not to beat a dead horse, but then I finally had a CT scanned, and it was kind of, I feel like uh, like, you know, my my cardiologist was probably like, I don't know what, I don't know what else, I don't know what other tests we can do, but let's just throw that one out there. And funny enough, or not funny enough, but whenever we got the results back, at first I didn't open up the document, and I just I just went to the follow-up, and she was like, Everything's fine, you know, no calcium buildup, no anything, nothing concerning. Artier arteries are open, fine, everything's great. Okay, and I I left the appointment, like, okay, here I am again, being told everything is fine and and everything is good. So I just kind of, you know, I I uh I left it like that. And a few days later, I started getting chest pains again, like you know, like normally. And I was sitting down, I was I wasn't doing anything active, and I got frustrated. I was like, let me read this test. I don't know, something just told me to hey, read the test, let's see what what's inside, and I started reading it, and that's where I found the in the findings it said found findings, deep mb bridge on LAD. And now I was like, Well, what is that? And that's where I just went down the rabbit hole and I found out what that my cardio bridge was and the symptoms, and I was like, Oh my gosh, that's exactly what I have. So I I scheduled the immediate appointment, follow-up again with my car, the cardiologist I was seeing at the time, and she just dismissed it. She said, No, it's it's not that shouldn't be causing that, you know. That's not it's not that. Plus, we don't really do anything, you know, for that per se. So, you know, what what do you do then? You hit old Google, and then somehow I was able to find this myocardial Facebook group. And at the time there was only 200 members or something along those lines. So it was very, very fresh. And I, you know, I started reading through it and I found that, you know, there was there was hope. People who've had surgery, people who've had these symptoms, people that, you know, were in this journey too and are still were still on it. So that's that's kind of what brought me to look at Stanford and Chicago.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

So now you've kind of self-diagnosed, you recognize something's wrong here. My cardiologist doesn't seem to have a clue. She's not giving me what I need. You identify something from Google. And obviously at at that time, both Stanford and Chicago were pretty popular in terms of resolution through surgery, if not some some other medical support with either medicine or medication, as they typically will do first to see if that's going to help you. And you start going down that path a little bit deeper. You know, tell us what that was like. What were you doing? You you had Stanford on one and Chicago on the other. I think Chicago probably a little bit closer for you because of where you lived. But you know, and one other thing, so so people know if they're not watching, they can't see you, but if they're just listening, how old are you at this time?

SPEAKER_00 14:16

When this is happening, I was roughly about 27, 28.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Okay, so you you're a young guy.

unknown 14:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah, that's yeah. That's definitely a a concern when you're looking at your future, going, wait, I can my career just started. I'm I'm just down this path. I'm I'm looking at a lot of life in front of me. Okay, so you so you get to the to the option to see that people are getting something done at Stanford in California and Chicago, which has another wonderful university there. What are you what are you looking at? What's going through your head?

SPEAKER_00 14:52

So I'm I'm very young. I'm starting my career. I am, you know, I'm I'm listening to my friends worry about other things or going through other moments. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding what my next step is going to be on this medical journey. So it was very in obviously going through life changes, you know, cutting back eating habits, not going out as much, you know, not drinking, things like that. You know, it starts, you know, you're you you embark in this journey and you're really committed into it. So when I started looking at Stanford and Chicago, I was after reading and finding out that yes, you know, there's been some, you know, cases where this bridge has been very impactful to the point where some people have heart attacks. I wanted it a solution and an answer right away. So I submitted my paperwork to Stanford because at the time there weren't too many patients that had been unroofed robotically. And so there was still some skepticism whether it could actually, you know, the robot could actually really get in there and do what it needs to do and things like that. And so I submitted my paperwork to Stanford at first, and I was still, I didn't fully kick out robotic. I was like, you know, there's something, you know, this is new. This is just because it's new doesn't mean it's wrong, or it's sometimes people don't like change. And so, you know, I I get that side too. So I was like, let's let me hear both of them out. Stanford got back to me within a month, and you know, it was a big report saying, yes, we can confirm you have a myocardial bridge, but we need further testing and you need to come to Stanford, and you know, the whole you need to do everything here. So, okay, you know, I I know I have to do what I have to do. But when it came to scheduling the appointment, they were almost a year out. And now I'm, you know, okay, well, I kind of wanted this done in about a month, you know. You're I want an answer now. So I was like, okay, well, I have time to explore other options. You know, that's it's not a decision you should rush into. So I submitted my paperwork to Chicago. They got back to me within a week, and you know, they said, Hey, you know, we're interested, you know, we looking at your documents here, you know, I think we should get testing done here. And so within a month, I flew out to have my first testing tests done in Chicago. Right out of the gate, you know, I was I was nervous. I told a friend if she could come with me and help me out through this journey because it was, it was, it was me. You know, I was I was researching, I was doing all the insurance paperwork, I was, you know, I was leading the charge on this. And so I got to Chicago and it moved very, very quickly. It was not, they were not wasting time. I mean, they tested me a day within me getting to Chicago, and Dr. Blair was, you know, Dr. Blair was very clear. Hey, no, this is you, you definitely have a Mario Karto bridge that's impacting your your day-to-day. There's no ifs and buts about it, and you don't have anything else. It's this. So he said, you know, we'll we'll set you up to talk to Dr. Balke. We'll present everything we have and we'll go from there. And then I have my meeting with Dr. Balke.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Yeah, and I think when we were talking earlier, it was a little bit different than you expected it to go. Tell me a little bit about that first round of questioning that you had in the orientation session with with Balkey, which is virtual, correct?

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Right. Yeah. So at this time I'm back home and Dr. Balkey, you know, we schedule a meeting. I don't know what to expect. I got my questions written out because I don't, you know, I'm nervous, I'm anxious, you know. My first question probably is gonna be, am I gonna die on the table? You know, you I'm I'm scared, you know, I'm nervous.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

We all asked that question. It's it's I I it was my first one. How many people have made it off the table? And when he spit everybody, I thought, oh, okay, well, that's one thing I don't have to worry about. I know I'll make it off the table than if everybody else did, because I'm in better shape.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

Exactly. So, so right out of the gate, I I figured Dr. Balkey was going to kind of go over the information and just, you know, question me more on a medical side, but Dr. Balkey came at me in a different way. He came at me wondering why and how I ended up in Chicago. He was curious on what my journey was to get to this diagnosis and what I wanted to get out of the surgery. And and frankly, I told him, you know, I understand that there's probably medication I could probably take to take care of the symptoms, but I don't want to do that. Right now, I'm I'm in a stage where my body's strong. It can probably can probably handle and recover the surgery pretty well. So, you know, I want to take that risk. And, you know, we weighed out the pros and the cons. And, you know, it was the pros definitely outweighed the cons. And, you know, Dr. Balkey, when we had this conversation, he was very stoic, very to the point, you know, of what the objective was going to be. Then once he really vetted me on, you know, the reasons why and how young I was and what the consequences were, we really dove into the the details of what he saw and why he thinks this would be a perfect solution or a, you know, we would have a positive impact on, you know, if we did surgery. Because you he, you know, nobody can guarantee 100% recovery or 100% back to normal. But, you know, we were both very positive and very confident that this was going to be beneficial in the long term.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

You know, and I wonder if Dr. Balke also wasn't picking up on some of the depth you've got in the holistic nature of this whole thing, you know, the thought process, which is what I picked up on on that Facebook page. You know, here's a guy that's thinking this through a little bit deeper, and he's looking at it more on a holistic basis. There is a spiritual element to it, there is a faith element to it, there is a a gratitude, you know, recognition and give back element to it when we've had this this good fortune of the ability to recover. And and maybe that's part of why that uh line of questioning went down a a different path. So so at this point, had you then decided uh to go with the robotic surgery in Chicago?

SPEAKER_00 21:26

It's it's uh it's interesting you say that say that because Jeff, whenever I initially flew was flying out to Chicago, I remember sitting in the airport and thinking, okay, this is where this journey ends. You know, whatever these guys are the the top of knowledge, these guys know what they're talking about, they know how to test, they know how to look at this in the right way. And whatever they say and they recommend, I'm gonna do. And so I really put it up in the universe for the decision to be made that way. So I wasn't strongly wanting surgery, but I also wasn't, you know, going to be against it if it was recommended. I was going to listen, I was going to listen to the professionals and present my case and present what my goals were long term and what lifestyle I wanted to live. And from there, it's, you know, it was going to be up to, you know, what they, you know, not up to them, but I was going to follow the instructions that they were going to be that I was provided.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

And at that point, now you get to meet Dr. Balkey in person. And it's a little you shared it's a little bit different conversation once you had made your decision and you guys came together. What was that like?

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Well, it's from the time of you know deciding, okay, I am gonna go through with surgery to Dr. Balkey, there was a whole preparation that, you know, a month of just lots of lots of emotional things that had to be done and prep for to get to Dr. Balke. I mean, one of the things they don't tell you is that, well, they tell you once you commit to it, right? That you have to write a will, you know. And at age, you know, at this point, I'm I think I'm 31 or so. You know, it's not something you really want to think about.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

You know. Not to mention you're probably thinking, uh, I don't really have all that much. What am I giving up?

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Yeah. And in in the little stuff that I have, who am I giving it to? And so it it really makes you think of where your footprint is in this thing we call life. And what have I done with it? And what have, you know, where is this leading me to? And and it just really makes you think, I mean, you know, as I mentioned, I like I have done triathlons, and so I built a gravel bike from the ground up. And I mean, it's got everything that I wanted to put on a gravel bike within my means, obviously. But I mean, it's it's it's it's my baby. And so, you know, obviously, one of those athletes, you know, when you're naming your assets, you have to really think of who am I giving, you know, one of the biggest uh stumps I hit was who am I gonna give this bike to?

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Yeah, the thing that I took so much pride to develop and build and ride because if I can relate, it becomes personal to you. That bicycle becomes something that's been on journeys with you and and grueling experiences, and you do give it some weird characteristic that you know we shouldn't, but we do.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

Yeah, it's it's kind of like misery likes company, yeah. And your bike is your company when you're out there in those in riding those miles that you chose to go ride, by the way. And so so it really brings you to a a point where you really have to give it, take yourself out of this and really just kind of just think bigger picture and hope for the best because you're prepping things, you're you're working, so you're having a schedule, you know, deal with insurance and deal with disability or deal with you know the leave you're gonna take because you're gonna have to take some time off from work, so you're handling all those things. And so by the time you get to Dr. Balkie, I don't want to say you've dot all your teeth and your eyes, but you're at a point where I'm ready. You know, wherever this leads, if this if this is if these are my last few days that I get to explore the world because something goes terribly south, then you know, that's that's that's where it is. And that's I think that's the weight of this surgery that sometimes people tend to kind of just dismiss and just forget that it is actually a a process you have to really think through. But I get to Dr. Balkey, and Dr. Balkey is, you know, night and day from the Zoom call. You know, he's smiling, he's like, Hey, welcome to Chicago. How are you been? Have you had pizza yet? You know, okay, cool. Well, hey, let's and and I remember this as as one of the most interesting things that we started looking at the test and the cat, the catheters, and where it shows how much the compression is actually being made on the artery. And he's like, Whoa, like, you know, how how are you not feeling this right now? Like you're you know, you this thing disappears, you know, and I'm like, I I don't know, you tell me. And so, no, no, I think you know, I'm really excited about this. I think we're definitely gonna be able to, you're gonna see difference in this. And you know, he gave me some small instructions and said, Hey, get some rest. You know, you have a big day in the next two days testing and getting ready for this, and you're in good hands, and that was it. And then I was off to get some rest, test, and get some pizza.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Good, good. So you did get some Chicago deep dish pizza?

SPEAKER_00 26:58

The day before my surgery. Perfect. Perfect. The day before my surgery, I did get pizza.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Good. Well, so for those who are from Chicago, it might have been you know, Gino's or it might have been Chicago oven and pizza grinder, or I I don't, you know, I should probably remember where I went, but I unfortunately don't.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

I I think you know, I was taken there by a local person that lived in Chicago for a while, and but you know, my mind wasn't even on, oh, where is this pizza? You know, my mind's the hey, is this the last pizza I'm gonna eat? You know, and then so you know, my mind was in 10 different places at this time. So I'd like to go revisit it. That's actually a pretty cool, you know, that'd be a pretty cool adventure to go back on.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

It would be to mimic almost the trip that you were clouded with the first time. And now you go back, you know, with clarity and and enjoyment and gratitude for the experience. So you you have your surgery and it seems like everything goes well. And we are coming up, my friend, on an anniversary for you, February 22nd, correct? Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Yes, yes, two years now.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

That's amazing. How are you? How are things? How do you feel? What are you able to do?

SPEAKER_00 28:16

So I, you know, the surgery gave me gave me my life back. My recovery was very quick, almost too quick, to the point where I was a little skeptical on how quick it was. I didn't want to hurt myself, but I was able to, you know, run, lift weights pretty quickly, you know, fast forward to now. You know, I was able to, you know, I I sorted through the mental side of things too during this process because that's one thing that, you know, we tend to forget, you know, our bodies have gone through so much pain and so much, you know, they've endured so much from this, but our mentals, the mental side of things are also need to be healed. We've gone through many diagnoses where we were told we were wrong. You know, we might have been led to think that we had anxiety or we had some sort of other thing. And I'm not saying that all medical professionals are wrong or or any of that. You know, I I believe we should seek medical help and professional help, but you know, you have to take care of that side. You have to put yourself back in a confident mental state, and you have to really deal with those things too, because they're there, they're they're still there, and you have to set healthy boundaries too with that. You've been fighting something for so long or a thing that you were you were chasing a ghost essentially, and then the ghost actually appeared and it was real. So dealing with that, it's it's it's a journey, it's a journey in itself. And I think some people, me for example, got back to life so quickly, you know. I I got I got up back on the bike, I I was able to be of service, I was able to show up for my family in ways that normally I probably wouldn't have been able to, just because of the physical need and demand that whatever tasks demanded of it, you know, I was able to continue my life and not have this on the top of my mind. I was able to, I met my wife, you know, got married, and now, you know, we're we started a family.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

And so it's it's really just so awesome to have the confidence, to have the confidence to be able to do it. You you you probably wouldn't have been so open to the situation had you still been suffering. And and here you are two years later now, married, child, and that's some big changes, my friend. So those are some big changes. So congratulations on that as well, having almost nothing to do with the physical capabilities at this point.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah, no, and and so it it was it was constant change. In in constant change, obviously, you know, there's prepping for a marriage, and now there's prepping for a child, and so the mentality just doesn't stop and transitioning from you know, single couple, parents, and all and and recovering mentally from this traumatic, you know, situation you were in for quite a few years. I mean, it's not a situation. I mean, it's you I don't know if traumatic is the right word used here, but you know, having to have this on the top of your mind for so many years and now it just falled behind. There comes a time which was obviously, you know, the beginning of the year is a time for people to reflect and kind of set new year goals and just slow down live, the holidays are over, everything is settling down. That's what inspired me to make that post on the group again because you know, I really slowed down. I said, Hey, if I wouldn't have had this surgery, I probably wouldn't have done any of this things that got done, or I wouldn't have had these things. And so, you know, I being as young as I am, and you know, I say I'm young, but you know, but uh look at somebody 30 years my junior, so you're young. I I'm getting up there, but you know, for for the age group that for the age group that I am in, you know, sometimes it's very easy to just get so focused on your growth and so focused on you, you, you and getting things done, achieving this, achieving that, you know, doing whatever you set your mind to. But sometimes we it's good to stop and remember that there's still people fighting this fight. There's still people in that Facebook group, which is now 2K and above and growing. Yeah, there's still people out there that are just finding this out. And and and you know, the other day somebody I I I saw a question and somebody posted, you know, hey, can I do this, this if I have a bridge? You know, I just found out I have a bridge, you know, and I remember being at that point and being at that unknown and that at that fearful level of is this gonna trigger a heart attack? Is this gonna make it worse? You know, so that's kind of what inspired me to say, hey, you know what? I'm gonna be a little bit more proactive in in this community and tell my story and you know, encourage young people because I've I've had the pleasure to have a few conversations with a few guys in the group and who have gone forward and had surgery. But you know, one of the things that I tell them is you have your whole life ahead of you. You have a family, you're establishing a family. You know, it's scary to take this leap of faith right now, but it's better for you to do it right now that you're young and strong and then move on because it's not gonna get it's I don't think it's gonna get any better. You know, I think it's just gonna be prolonged, and at one point or another you'll have to make a decision about it. So I think it's it's scary. I think it's you know very intimidating, but the other side of you know, coming out of surgery is also I can I can't even begin to describe how it is.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Well, uh you hit the nail on the head on all the points. That's it's so true when we're in the space not certain. And I think that uncertainty is the biggest challenge for many of us when you don't know what uh either the cause or the end result is gonna be, it really can freeze you. And that's what creates the anxiety and certainly stress and fear and you know, sleepless nights. Am I gonna make this? Am I not gonna make this? What happens if I'm talking with somebody right now whose surgery is scheduled in about three weeks. And she's worried she's not gonna make it because the symptoms just seem to get worse and worse and worse. And many of us understand that. We we understand what that feels like and what that does to your head, and it consumes every minute it it's going through. You're sitting at dinner going, I I don't know, I can't eat much because I don't feel well. I you know, I'm gonna go to sleep. Well, I'm a little afraid to go to sleep because what if I go to sleep, am I gonna wake up? Just all these things that cascade once you're aware, and especially when you know that you have an end in sight to the surgery. I just gotta make it to my surgery. I just have to make it to my surgery, and and and then I can deal with it after that. But the awareness that you've got and your confidence and ability to share it at this stage of the game, I think speaks volumes for the gratitude that you have for the outcome. And it's going to benefit so many people who are in that similar space, who are younger, who are looking at that same situation. They're they're faced with a career and and maybe they already have a young family. But to your point of getting it done sooner than later, once you've been diagnosed, we all know it doesn't get better. It only deteriorates. The the rapidity with which it deteriorates is different for all of us. You had a quick deterioration. You noticed right away, man, I'm I'm not even a year away from this thing, and all of a sudden I can't do what I used to do just six months away or six months prior. So that's that's huge. And the recognition of it is huge, and the ability to share it is something I applaud you for because people need to hear this, and they need to hear it from all of us, whatever age we are, whatever gender, whatever ethnicity. We need to hear it from people like us because then we can relate and say, oh, okay, and it's not some old guy telling me he's old, he's got problems, it's not some young guy who's an athlete, he's an athlete, it's a different situation. The more people we can get to share the story and tell others, the more people will be able to rate relate to us, meaning the collective group of us, that I'm like him, I'm like her, I'm like that guy, I'm like that gal. Oh my gosh, there's hope. And that's the the the biggest thing. If if we can do anything from a standpoint of what we share, is give those people in that same situation the hope that they can end up on the other side of this thing in some way, shape, or form, whatever the choices that they take, whether it's robotic, whether it's sternotomy, whether it's storicotomy, however they get there. In some cases, it's just medication that works. But pushing and advocating to get there is more than half the battle. So again, I I really applaud you for that. Yeah, now what are you thinking? You're still a young guy. Now you've got a young family and you've got a career in front of you. What what do you think about today in in terms of the future as you see it?

SPEAKER_00 38:13

You know, that's uh that's a loaded question. That's a loaded question, Jeff. Taking it day by day, perfect, you know, perfectly. Taking it day by day, being trying to you know, it's very easy to get consumed by life, by work, by you know, what life throws us our ways and our I don't want to say, you know, our our ambitions in a way, you know, we get so wrapped up in the day-to-day and what like that we lose track of the the the little things. The fact that I just walked up this flight of stairs and I didn't fall and collapse because I'm out of breath. The fact that I was able to go to the gym for about an hour and a half and I I left in and and then I was fine, you know, and I had a great workout and and I see progress, you know. But most of all, being able to focus more on family. I think that's for my future, I want to be able to spread awareness about this. And and and especially, especially in the guy father communities, is that you being the head of household, sometimes you have to, I don't want to say you have to mask things, but it's good to be able to talk to somebody else and be able to, you know, be vulnerable and say, hey man, I'm scared. I'm scared I'm gonna die. I'm scared I'm you know, I'm not gonna be able to be here long term for my family. I'm scared that I don't have the answer. I don't even know where to begin to look. Or if my job is so demanding, I barely have time. I have to take a sick day to make one doctor's appointments, you know? Like this journey can be, I I don't even know how many doctors' appointments I went to. I lost track. Like it's it's it's such a it can be so life consuming. So for future, I definitely want to help other young people, you know, make this decision, feel comfortable making the decision, you know, and not think that it's something like that people are just making a big deal out of something when it's it's really something that we need to be more proactive about, especially as as something that's pretty pretty wild. But I I was listening to another podcast or something along those lines, and it's mentioned that as time goes on, people are there they're finding more and more cardiovascular diseases in people now. And and that's something that back in the day, you know, you didn't really think about. And now, you know, I'm I'm a big advocate of hey, just go get a regular checkup with a cardiologist. Just I I tell that to my guy friends, I'm like, hey man, just go to one-year checkup. You never know. I've known some guys that they had blockage in their arteries and they had no ideas, and they were this close away to having a heart attack that would have killed them.

SPEAKER_02 41:04

And that's I was gonna say, and your girlfriends, your lady friends that are hearing this are gonna say, what? And you're not telling us the same thing? They're gonna go, chip your guy friends, what? You don't care about us, John? No, no.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

Well, I mean, you know, obviously my wife is yeah, no, my wife is way more proactive about you know taking care of these things. And I think it's and funny enough you mentioned that, Jeff, because the whole one of the other things that brought me to that post was actually a girlfriend that came to me and said, Man, I'm I'm I'm having chest pains, I'm going through like all this testing and stuff, and it brought back memories. Yeah, and I was like, Hey, well, you know, you're on the right path. Maybe ask for a CT scan with you know this. You might have to pay out of pocket, but hey, it's worth it. You know, you're gonna get to the point where you need to be. And then the other thing I was, you know, I'm like, hey, be proactive about reading your test. If you don't, if you don't, you know, there's so much information online now that if you don't understand something on your test, you can just type it in and it'll tell you. So, you know, and and she's one of my best friends, and she knows she, you know, was with me through this journey too. And, you know, now I I told her I was like, hey, I don't, I'm not a professional, I can't diagnose you, but you kind of have some similar symptoms that I had. So she's getting some tests done and we'll see. But I this thing doesn't judge race, color, age, which is which is which is scary too, because this isn't something that happened when I became an adult. I was born with this. So do we need to do more testing when people are younger, you know, to kind of determine this uh doesn't affect them or they are able to get to a long life? I don't know, but I do want to be part of that movement. I do want to be able to help. That's kind of where that's kind of where I'm at now in in in this whole process of this.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

Good. Well, that that gratitude just it it just speaks volumes. And it it's so sincere and to your point of authenticity, it's what we need to do. And the fact that you're here with me on the conversation for the podcast, as well as the engagement on the Facebook group and the acceptance of people to reach out and ask questions, it's everything for those people. And we have the benefit of and I think personally for me it's a responsibility. You know, f for for me, I'm not gonna speak for everybody, but I feel responsible to give back because if I've been given this gift, this blessing to continue at whatever age, then I have that responsibility to make sure that I can give. Some of that back to the people who are experiencing the same thing. And again, back to that hope and that outlook for the future. And we all know when you're in it, it sucks. But once it's over and you get to look forward, you're relieved. And to your point, to your post, to your discussion with me today, don't forget. Don't forget. Because you wouldn't be having this conversation if it wasn't for the fact that you had the unroofing and for the awareness and everything that comes along with it. So fantastic conversation, John. I really, really appreciate it. And congratulations on the family, the family member. Do you still have the bike?

SPEAKER_00 44:48

I do still have the bike. I still have the bike. I am that is a hard negotiable to get rid of.

unknown 44:57

Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Perfect. That is, yeah, yeah. No, I I get out and ride as much as I can. You know, it's a little bit challenging nowadays, but not because of my physical ability, but because of my responsibilities. It's, you know, when but when I can sneak away, I get out there, you know, and you know, enjoy some biking. So good for you.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

But well, thank you from the bottom of my imperfect heart for the contribution and for the ability to express it the way that you did.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

Yeah, no, thank you, Jeff. And I think you're doing a great job. I think, you know, you've, you know, your podcast, you've definitely interviewed some important people that are involved in this and that changed lives. You know, they've there's no amount of gratitude that I could even muster up to, you know, thank Dr. Balkey and the his team and the Chicago team for providing this to me and you know, giving me this chance, you know, and and it's just like I said, I think you're you've you said it well is I I think to a certain point, we all that have come to the other side and have been good and have, even if you haven't been good or on the recovery side, I think we still need to be able to share those experiences and share what we're going through and give hope to people that are in the process, that are in those sleepless nights, that are in those trenches of fear and insomnia, and and it's just we we can be beacons of hope.

SPEAKER_02 46:27

Well, again, John, thank you so much. I I appreciate your time.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

Yeah, thank you, Jeff.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Thank you for listening to Imperfect Heart. It's my hope that this information helped in some way to improve your situation or will help you better understand this condition. More importantly, that it gives you hope through stories that there is help and you most certainly are not alone. If you've been diagnosed with a myocardial bridge, please be sure to join the private Facebook group, Myocardial Bridge Support Group. For more information about our program or to reach me directly, visit the website, myimperfectheart.com. If you like what you heard today, please give a positive review, thumbs up, high five, whatever your app likes. And be sure to share with everyone important to you so they understand what it is you're dealing with. Please subscribe as well. Welcome each day with gratitude and positivity. The views and opinions expressed in this program are solely those of the host and the guest and are not intended to provide, nor are they a suitable substitute for professional care by a doctor, therapist, mental health professional, or other qualified medical professional. Imperfect Heart is a production of Hear Me Now Studio.