Episode 23: Only Days After Unroofing Surgery, 24 Year Old Kaylin Kellert Enthusiastically Shares Her Real Time Experience.

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Pain is only temporary, and the pain of I want a lot of people to think about it this way. This is a protective measure against a far more potential fatal ending. You could have a heart attack, and the pain that your friends and family members could endure is far more painful than the recovery that you'll go through if they lost you.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

We'll talk with healthcare professionals, those in related fields that support our condition, and others just like us with stories of their myocardial bridge experiences. It's my intention for this content to inform, educate, entertain, and even motivate or inspire you in your personal journey on dealing with a myocardial bridge. Most importantly is to have you leave each episode with hope, knowing you're not alone and that what you're experiencing is real. Today's discussion is the second part of something I started two weeks ago, although it's not a part two. It's a distinctly separate yet connected continuation of the conversation that began with Leanne Ayner and will end today with my guest. She's now a retired Air Force veteran who has served our country in a variety of ways. She was a federal law enforcement member as well as a tactical security detail manager, which included intelligence collection for the military, but that all changed after she began having heart attack-like symptoms when she was twenty-one years old and was finally diagnosed with a myocardial bridge. While many elements of her story are familiar, what is most significant about this conversation is that we are having it just a little over a week post-unroofing surgery via sternotomy. You'll clearly hear what gets this incredibly resilient young woman up every morning and how she attacks her day with an unbelievable attitude, sense of humor, and positivity. All right, enough of the intro. I can't wait to start the conversation. Caitlin Kellart, let's get this party started. Kaylin, this is absolutely the most proximal to surgery interview I've ever done on the program. You are only a little over a week out of a full sternomy on roofing, and here we are talking. I mean, you're actually on camera looking absolutely beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Thank you so much for being so willing to share what it's like as it's happening and really where you're at in your head. I think you know the episode's going to prove really helpful for so many because you know, as you know, uh we had Leanne on just a couple of weeks ago, right before her surgery and five days prior. And you know what was amazing about it is that you are now also the first two back-to-back stories I've ever done. Not only that, you had your surgeries on the same day at the same place by the same doctor. And you know, how cool is that that you were able to connect in the hospital with what you called a surgery soulmate. So let's get into the conversation. But before we get into the details of your surgery, let's talk a little bit about what got you there. How did this all unfold?

SPEAKER_03 3:54

So in 2021, I was 21 years old, and I had just gotten back from my deployment to Africa, and the military put out a mandate that we all needed to be vaccinated. So, about one month into me being back into the United States, I received the first dose of Moderna, didn't have any issues. Then late June, I received the second dose of Moderna. One week after receiving it, I experienced my first cardiovascular episode. And what I now know was an endothelial spasm, I didn't know then, but it felt like having a mini heart attack. I thought it was having a heart attack. It woke me up at three in the morning, and I was three hours away from any hospital, and I couldn't find any sort of relief for about an hour. So I was trying to walk around and I was in excruciating pain. I was debilitating. And then ever since then, every day for the next three years, I was having spasms and having nausea, tingling in my extremities, vomiting, migraines, palpitations. I had an atrioventricular heart block, ventricular tachycardia, countless other cardiovascular episodes, and had no idea what was going on until three months ago when Stanford conducted another CT scan, found the myocardial bridge, and sent me to the cath lab when they found out I had endothelial dysfunction as well.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

And spasms.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

And that's when you're 21. What did it take for you to get to the point of surgery? Because that was almost two and a half, three years ago, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Being in the military, they send you around to a lot of military doctors. And unfortunately, military doctors aren't typically trained in those types of specialties. So it was a lot of advocating for myself and fighting for my life basically every day to get seen by other specialists. So I was getting seen all up and down Northern California by three different cardiologists, two neurologists, and endocrinologists. You name them, I've probably seen them. I went to a gastrointestinal specialist as well. I saw a neurologist, another Air Force base. It was about an hour away from the one I was stationed at. And I was looking online one day, and this was about a year and a half ago. I saw that Stanford, a neurologist at Stanford, was conducting a test to see if there were any disorders for vasovagal dysfunction. And the only reason that I thought maybe I had a vagus nerve issue was because it could have been coupled with a cardiovascular issue. Because I had numbness and tingling in my face and my lower extremities, and I had cardiovascular issues, I thought maybe it was a vagus nerve issue. So that's how I got my foot in the door with Stanford. And I was kicking and screaming at every single doctor that was misdiagnosing me and mistreating me essentially because I was having really poor bedside manner. And I was in and out of the emergency room. I think I went to the emergency room just over 60 times in the last three years because of the episodes I was having. And every answer I got was we don't know what's wrong with you. We think it's fatal. You could die at any time, but we don't know how to help. And I wasn't going to take that as an answer. So I did everything I possibly could to figure out what was wrong because I knew something was wrong.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Isn't that comforting to know you could die? We don't have a solution. We don't know what to do with you.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

And oh, it's the best news to receive.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

And we're talking about it now on the other side of Unroofing, but there's a lot of people who are still in this space, this exact same space, going, I'm being misdiagnosed, I know there's something wrong, and nobody can tell me what it is. And they're saying it could be serious because it's my heart. What did you do that pushed you through to get the appointments at Stanford?

SPEAKER_03 8:46

So the military doctor that I was seeing, he was a neurologist. With him, it was just about leveling with him. And luckily, I didn't have at that point, it had been two years of me tires tirelessly fighting with other people, just trying to get answers at, you know, with physicians at my base. And because this was somebody I'd never met before, and because this was somebody at a completely different base, I completely lost a filter and I completely lost any sort of sense of care about any sort of reprimand. Because when you're in the military, you really have to mind your P's and Q's when it comes to little tiny things. But with him, because I knew that I didn't have to worry about outside aspects like chain of command, I just leveled with him. I said, look, I know that there is something wrong. And Stanford seems to be the only place that might be able to give me an answer and I have to see them. I'm not going to take no for an answer. And he was probably the only person in two years that actually listened to me. He sent out a referral and I finally got seen by Stanford. I went through an autonomic dysfunction lab that consisted of five tests. I failed one of their tests. They said that I have existing symptoms that led them to believe that I had POTS, but they couldn't diagnose me with POTS. So the neurologist that I had seen at Stanford, Dr. Miglas, he recommended that maybe some of my scans got sent over to Dr. Perino, who is an electrophysiologist. Yes, an electrophysiologist. He took a look at a CT scan that was conducted two years prior by another cardiologist, but he couldn't tell. So they conducted another CT scan, I think, three months ago, and that's when he saw the bridge.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

I also had Dr. Perino post-surgery because I had some arrhythmia that they wanted to keep an eye on. And the good news is he said, Are you comfortable with it? I'm comfortable with it. Yes, it's fine because you're going to have it forever. It's typical of people who do some endurance type events over time. Now, I also want to mention that you are a bodybuilder. So you're very aware of symptoms and anything related to your physical well-being. So you're you're sensitive to those sorts of things. So what you're talking about, you're able to explain maybe in a little more detail. And my point in making that is for anybody that has these situations is to really reflect on what the condition is that you're feeling and what the symptoms are. And if you're not there articulate about it, write it down so that you can explain it to the doctor.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

So we're almost to your surgery. You've got yourself into Stanford. Stanford is going through the diagnostics and they're telling you, okay, yes, you you do have a bridge. What happens next?

SPEAKER_03 11:56

So they told me that I have a bridge, and I got a referral to go see Dr. Schnitger. And this was all pretty fast because at the time, while I was in the military, I went through something called a medical board. And my medical evaluation, it was to retire me or separate me from the military because I was unable to perform my job. My referrals and my process with Stanford had to be expedited. So I was very fortunate to have a process that was as quick as it was. It's not going to be the same for every other patient, unfortunately, but for me, I was very lucky. So I saw Dr. Schnecker within three weeks of Dr. Perina's findings. And she told me about the CAF lab. And she said, okay, I see that you have a myocardial bridge. It's 42 millimeters long, which is very long, but it's also superficial. And she said already that I'm likely a candidate for surgery, but she has one other step to take before confirming that I am a candidate for surgery, which was to send me to the cath lab to see if I have endothelial dysfunction paired with it. So she said that because of my situation and my upcoming retirement from the military, that there was only one time that she'd be able to get me in as soon as I needed to be in. And that was to put me up as a candidate for a broadcast for a panel of cardiologists for the cath lab, that cardiologists that were learning how to perform the cath lab. And so Dr. Tremel, she read my story, 21-year-old healthy female at the time, military, myocardial bridge, all these symptoms. She saw me as the perfect candidate for this because she couldn't understand why I was having these issues. She performed the cath lab three weeks after my first appointment with Dr. Schnitker and injected me with debutamine, had an endothelial spasm, and then they were like, Yep, you're gonna have surgery if you want. And then I accepted to the surgery, and then three weeks after that that appointment where Dr. Schnitker asked me if I would like to have surgery, I I was signed up for surgery scheduled.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

That's wonderful that you were able to get that done that quickly and in such a short period of time. The the other thing I'll make mention of for anybody that is military is the Pelo Alto VA is associated to Stanford. And we had another gentleman that I'm speaking with as well, similar situation. So that that is a plus. So now you've got the acceptance, you're gonna go into surgery, you're gonna get some taken care of. You were said, I think it was the 23rd of January, was your surgery date. And I'm assuming Dr. Boyd, since he's the only one that has the surgeries there, did you have a chance to meet with Dr. Boyd prior to your surgery?

SPEAKER_03 15:21

I did. The 22nd was my pre-op, and that was also Leanne's pre-op date. And her pre-op was right after mine. I actually finished my appointment with him right before hers started. So that's the first time I met her. She told me, I'm here for my appointment. And I texted her, I was like, Oh my gosh, are you? And I asked the front desk lady if if it'd be okay if I saw Leanne. So Leanne comes out from around the corner and we gave each other a hug. But yes, I met Dr. Boyd. He came in right after the first nurse, and he's really wonderful. And he just he asked me if I knew what if I knew what I should expect from the surgery, and I told him what I expected from the surgery, and he was pleased to hear that I that I didn't expect to be cured of all of what ails me, but that I just expected to have an improvement to the quality of my life. And I think that appointment lasted about 10 minutes. I was very I was very straightforward with him that I was ready to just get it done, and that was it.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

So you had the opportunity to meet your first digital, then in-person surgery soulmate at the how were you feeling at that point when you left his office?

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Hungry.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

I had a CT scan to go do. Oh, I had so many things that were waiting for me, and I was starving. I hadn't eaten in the last like 12 hours, not because I needed to. Well, I didn't know I needed to fast, but you do need a fast. So thank God I did. Yes. Because I was unaware that I needed to, but I was starving. All I was thinking about was, God, I really wish I had some food right now. I had no questions for Dr. Boyd, but yeah, I I know that's not going to be the same for everybody else that goes in and have that appointment with him. But for me, I was really not nervous. My parents were definitely more concerned about my surgery than I was, especially before going into the operating room. I just cool as a cucumber. I'm a little chili bean like that. Yeah, nothing really, nothing really worries me ever.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Well, a couple of things I can tell that are absolutely part of that is you have a wonderful sense of humor. And keeping things light within reason is really paramount to, I think, a healthy recovery as well as you know, pre-surgery anxiety. It just minimizes a lot of that because it's a little bit out of our control. We're we made a decision, we're going to go do it. And in our pre-recorded call, we talk about a little bit of faith, spirituality. How do you think any of that played into it?

SPEAKER_03 18:52

I'm a firm believer that whatever I put out, whatever energy I put out in the universe will come back to me. I'm a firm believer in karma. And if I think about something negatively, then all I'm gonna receive is negative energy back. So if I look at everything through glasses, or if I think of everything in a positive manner, then all I'm gonna receive is if I look at something as a lesson, or if I look at something as this is only going to help me, then that's all it's gonna do. It's only gonna help me. If I look at something like it's gonna hurt me, that's all it's gonna do. So that's what helps me. The surgery can't hurt me. My my heart, my conditions are separate from me. They're not who I am, they're just they're not things that happen to me, and they're not they're a part of my life. They're not they're not what make up my life, they're just little obstacles that I have to get over. And that's okay. I just gotta get through them. That's all right with me. They're just little challenges, they teach you things about yourself, and everybody's gotta go through things like that. It's character development. I just think about, you know, it it's it's nice to think about your life like a movie. Just do it for the plot. Think about your life like a movie. If you think about it like a plot, you think about it like character development. That helps.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Well, and you said something that's it's part of one of my favorite lines. You got half of it there, and then you described the other half. You're not thinking about it as something that happened to you. In essence, it's something that happened for you, because it's development of character, which is really foresight for somebody at 24 years old. You know, most of us take a lifetime to get there to where we realize, hey, this this whatever this is happened for me. How do I deal with it? How do I make the best of it? Especially when it's out of our control.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Yeah, yeah. And when you worry too much about things that are out of your control, I mean, where are you putting your energy? I mean, that goes for a lot of things in life. There, there's so little that we really do have control over. We worry a lot about little things that we really don't need to worry about. So I was very fortunate to have such a change in mindset way before my surgery. I think, I think what really initiated it, it might have been a year prior to my surgery, was all these doctors telling me he could die at any time. But I mean, it's true, and that's true for anybody, not just people in our situation, but it's, you know, anybody could go at any time. I could have gone in a car accident the morning of my surgery. So my outlook on life. Is seize every single second that you have because it could be gone. You just gotta enjoy every single moment that you have.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Tell us a little bit about your experience immediately following surgery, once you had come out, because you were a little bit unique in that situation too.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

So I was in, so I didn't even make it to the ICU. I was straight to the cardiac floor. And I'm heavily sedated at this point. But I, you know, I remember waking up, leaving the OR, I was in excruciating pain. It was like I was on I was on the metal table, or it felt like I was on a metal table, and it felt like I was being actively sought into. And all the doctors were trying to control my pain, and they were injecting me with fentanyl and all these other medications, and they felt good after about 45 minutes of these rounds of medication. But it took a while to get to a peaceful state. But the amount of pain I was in was indescribable to anybody that didn't go through it, that hasn't gone through it. But equally so, and this is kind of funny to say the first thing that went through my mind after after having my little painful fit was I can't wait to have a cup of pudding.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

That sugar-free vanilla pudding.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

I can't wait to have a cup of sugar-free vanilla pudding.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Yeah, that's the first thing. I was very excited.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

I will agree. The menu at Stanford, who gives you a menu in the hospital that you get to choose from that looks like a restaurant?

SPEAKER_02 24:03

I know. Three pages long, outstanding.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Right. And I would imagine you didn't have any salt intake issues, so you could order anything you want off the menu.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

I was, I was, yes, I was a very happy person.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Right. Well, even the fact that you were anxious to eat so early on. By the way, folks, that's not normal. It takes a couple of days for us to realize, okay, I'm hungry. I will try some food. I'm actually starving now because it's been a couple of days, because we spent two days in ICU, which in most of our cases is not a place we want to spend much time. You skipped that whole experience and you went right to A, the ward, and food. So good, good for you.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

So tell us then as you you were in the cardiac ward, what were some of those next steps of progression as you recall them? How how were you you know just dealing with each of those next steps?

SPEAKER_03 25:17

I think it was just a matter of identifying exactly what just happened to my body. Because I was I was awake, I was cognizant of where I was. And then, you know, my parents were there in the room, and I had no, I mean, I knew where I was, but I didn't know where I was. I knew who I was, I knew who they were, of course. But equally so, you know, coming out of that that painful fit, I also initially I didn't even know if I had had my surgery or not. I don't even remember being wheeled into the operating room from when I was being prepped for surgery. All I remember is there I am. It's seven o'clock in the morning, and I don't even remember being wheeled off into the operating room. I don't remember them saying, okay, are you ready with my party hat on? I don't remember that. But I remember I'm laying in bed, fresh sternotomy. I remember taking a photo. As soon as I woke up, I took a photo of myself and my fresh strenotomy, of course, because I document everything. My parents are sitting next to me, and some random woman comes in, and she's a friend of my parents, and I know her. I know this woman, and this is the first time meeting her in person, but I know this woman, and I'm just like, who are you? I felt bad. But I remembered her, I said hello, and then I knocked out. But yeah, I was really curious about all the tubes that were in and out of my body and the chest tube, especially, because I thought I was still gonna be on a ventilator. My mom told me your surgery only took two and a half hours. I'm thinking that that's really short because I thought minimum it took six hours with prep and everything. My surgery was only two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Yeah, so I went in at seven and I think I was out by 9:30. And then off went Leanne. Actually, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, and I'm glad that we're talking about this, she was one of the first thoughts that popped into my head when I got out of surgery. One of the first things that I thought about. So, yeah, I had my painful set. I thought about my sugar-free vanilla pudding naturally, took a photo of myself, looked at my tubes, and the next thought was, I wonder if Leanne's in surgery right now. That was, yeah, that was my next thought. I was really concerned.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Based on the proximity to your two surgeries, you were first, she was second. You maybe even high-fived each other as you passed on the Gurneys, and neither of you would remember it because you were too drugged up.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Exactly, yeah. Probably saw her with her little party hat. We're just two little high patients, just laughing at each other.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

So I I yeah, I'm gonna pull something up just because I saw that you posted on the Facebook page this morning. So one of the things that you posted just today prior to our conversation, only maybe about six hours earlier in the middle of the night, that I I thought was interesting, a couple of things. I won't go through all of them. I'll just recommend that if anybody wants a good little chuckle to check out the Facebook page to see it. Here's one of them. Prior to having all my tubes removed, since we're talking about the tubes, I felt like shamu. I felt like I was about to be transported to SeaWorld to be put on a show for the audience members in the splash zone. It was eight pounds heavier due to my fluid retention. I was itchy, my skin was itchy, I was puffing, everything felt itchy. I felt like the Michelin man, except I had no place to go, and I was red and splotchy. So we all love those tubes, right? Tell me about experience getting them removed and then the feeling of ah.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Oh man, yeah, I felt like shamu. I getting up to walk around with that that metal container or that that plastic container filled with your fluids was just wonderful. I love carrying around that designer plastic box of my internal fluids. They have to put it on the locker for you to go anywhere. So I'm going to the bathroom with like all these tubes hanging off my body. I really felt like a robot. And she comes in and she says, Are you ready to get your chest tube taken out? And I said, Yes, please take it out yesterday. So she comes in, she removes the suture. That was the most painful part of the process. And she says, Okay, are you ready? And I really wanted to get my phone to record this because I was very excited to see it. So I'm looking down the whole time as she's starting to remove it, but it was like a breath of fresh air. And, you know, she just she just pulled it right out. The feeling of having something removed out of that cavity is uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

It's not something you expect because you're not supposed to have anything there.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

But yeah, the feeling of it being out of there is is really it's such an interesting release. That was my favorite part of the hospital, was getting that thing taken out. That was my favorite part. And then getting the IV taken out of my neck, that was my second favorite part. Couldn't even feel it. The worst part about that though was when she took it out and then she flicked it around in front of my face. That was gross. I said, please don't ever do that again.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Well, and here for the benefit of anybody that's going to have heart surgery, they put chest tubes in. They're below your rib cage, two tubes that go in to keep the fluid from building up and causing problems. So they drain and they have a pump, and that pump has a suction, which I think you also alluded to the fact that yes, you will not sleep because of that, because it runs most of the time.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

Yep. It's it's like a suctioning feeling, like you can feel it, suction. It's just a really bizarre sensation, and you can hear it doing its light whirring, and man, it's just uncomfortable. It's I mean, you have to sleep on your back anyway, but when you've got the nerve blocks in your back, and you've got a chest tube in your chest, and you you're just you know, you're propped up every sort of way, it's very discomforting. Yeah, yeah. I had a small chest tube. They said, they said, Oh, you're lucky you got one of the smaller ones. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, I'm very lucky, aren't I?

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Did you just have one or did you have two?

SPEAKER_03 32:34

Just the one. You only had one? Yeah, I only had one. Yeah, I was very lucky. Didn't make it to the ICU. When I woke up, I wasn't on a ventilator, I didn't wake up with a sore throat. So, all 2,000 lozenges that I bought before my surgery, I didn't need them. I still use them, but I didn't need them. Yeah, I was a very lucky patient.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

You sure were, because most or many of us have two, one under each rib.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

And I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

It's it's it's double the fun.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

That's awful.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Oh to your point of the relief of that tube coming out, and I share this for people who haven't done this, and most of us don't realize that this is part of it. They have to come out. You don't realize how uncomfortable are they are while they're in, just because you don't know what that pain is, that discomfort, they're actually pushing up against your lungs in some cases. You take a deep breath and it hurts. And they're telling you take a deep breath with your spirometer, and you're like, I can't take a deep breath, and they go, Oh, that's because of the tubes. When the tubes come out, everything will be better. And then you're like, Oh, what's that? And so it's quite an experience, not necessarily the most comfortable thing for most people, but they just literally yank them out.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

Yeah, the uh man, I that was the majority of the pain for me was the chest tube. I thought I thought it was the heart surgery, it was the chest tube. That was the most painful part. Yeah, easily.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

So, quite the relief when it comes out, and then you're like, right, like you said, oh, it's a game changer. So before we get into a few more questions, I have to share one more because I don't know that you're gonna get the majority to agree with you on this one. You said in item number 10, I love hospital beds. I love hospital beds so much that I have hospital sheets and blankets in my home are all I can sleep in. I'm sleeping in them right now. It's the only way I can find comfort during my covery. I recognize that might be weird. Yes, it's weird, but hospital beds are your favorite. I will tell you, I hated that freaking world. I couldn't get comfortable, it didn't work, it just bumps, it was awful. So, yes, you are definitely unique.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Oh my goodness. This is funny. This this one, I knew I was gonna get a little pushback for that comment.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

My mom and I were probably the only two people that I know that love hospitals. Period. Hospital beds, the hospital gray cup with the little handle. You know, everybody's raving about these Stanley cups and they're practically killing themselves over going to Target to get one. No, not me. I what I for me, it's just taking that little hospital cup home. That's enough for me. I love hospital beds. I've never gotten a better night's sleep than the two hours I got a night in the hospital. I love them. I really don't know what it is. But as soon as I close my eyes in a hospital bed, I'm out. You are you're not waking me up unless it's from pain medication.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

I I will say you are in the minority. And and we should we should get a lot of feedback on the episode just on that comment alone. You know, and and um I'm actually impressed. You're a week out and you're comfortably laughing. I'm watching your movement. You've had astronomy. Most of us would still be holding our you know, our red heart pillows against our chests to laugh just because it would feel so uncomfortable. So it's it that's an impressive uh healing process that you're going through. Let me ask you about something about the the pain in the process itself. A lot of people are so afraid of the pain more than the actual cutting of the heart, which is what we should be concerned about, that they don't act. What would you say to those people?

SPEAKER_03 36:53

Pain is only temporary. And the pain is only temporary in the pain of I want a lot of people to think about it this way. This is a it is a protective measure against a far more potential fatal ending. You could have a heart attack, and the pain that your friends and family members could endure is far more painful than the recovery that you'll go through. If they lost you.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Great point. Great point. Not to mention you won't be there to experience all those things in the future that you had hoped to experience.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

I I actually, because I wrote something down, I said, and I say this to I say this to everybody, even people that, you know, don't necessarily think about their mortality. You're the only person that's gonna be there for yourself 100% of your life. So why would you not spend every make every waking moment to make the best of it and to nurture yourself and to really take care of yourself? Everything that I do is with intention, and the intention is to just be better and to be to be lively. You can't spend your life not living it, because then you're not living it. You don't live to survive, you don't breathe to survive. So, what what are you doing in your every day-to-day life to fulfill it? And I I understand, you know, that fear, but if if you're guided by fear every day, the fear of other people losing you should should outweigh your personal fear of the short amount of pain you're gonna endure, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

Very well said. Yeah, very well said. So you've been home now for a little over a week. How is your recovery going? And what do you find yourself thinking about most often? What's what's going through your head?

SPEAKER_03 39:24

I can't wait to take another oxy. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm not kidding. Oh, I keep myself busy. I have my mom here. I'm very, very grateful for that. Because they drove here from Texas, my parents did. My dad's back in Texas now for work. I'm just taking it day by day because I can't be in the gym and fulfill my bodybuilding days, just exercising my mind. If I can't exercise my muscles, I can exercise my brain. So just reading and discovering more creative outlets and learning and yeah, just filling up my time with things that I I didn't get to really pay attention to more when I was physically overloading myself. So now I'm mentally overloading myself. But it's it's this I'm very fortunate for. An experience like this, I'm very fortunate for, something that has forced me to rest. Rest is very important, rest and recovery is incredibly important, and to be as young as I am and to know what it's like to burn myself out deliberately, and then to be forced into what most people would view as a whole. It's an opportunity for me to rest so I can be stronger, and for me to really appreciate the strength that I once had, that I once had before. I can really appreciate what the gym gave me before this period of time so I can fulfill it later on.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Is there a book that you've read or anything you're currently reading that you'd say this is really, really good where I'm at right now? I'm really enjoying this or enjoyed this. I'm afraid to hear the book.

SPEAKER_03 41:40

It's called The Untold Story of Pearl Harbor.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

And it's a little over 850 pages long. It's a really good book. I am a history buss. And I I love nonfiction. Most of my library consists of true crime, which maybe I should minimize that library a little bit because the nightmares are frequent. There is another book called The I5 Killer, which I should probably not read, being in California.

SPEAKER_04 42:18

Right.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

But there is another book, and I don't remember the author's name, but it's called The Power of Now. And I I'm sure you've heard of it. It's a pretty popular book. Somebody actually gifted it to me a couple months prior to my surgery, and I thought it was really unusual the timing of being gifted that book because it was from a complete stranger. Somebody I'd never met, somebody completely random just left the book on my car one day. And I thought, how bizarre is that to receive a book that I really needed during this time.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

Not to mention a book, period, just left for you supposedly randomly.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

Supposedly randomly, yeah. And then a week after that I received a bouquet of flowers on my car. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Yeah, those two pieces are quite interesting. Those are that book and a bouquet of flowers aren't necessarily contiguous in the in the sense of the nature of each of them.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah, this is a great start. Yeah. Having a podcast and sharing this kind of information.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

Thank you for that. And uh while we're on the thank yous, thank you so much for sharing what you've shared. Yeah, thank you for your service to our country. You are a veteran at this point. Your contribution to this program is is gonna be enormous, in my opinion. And Just for the courage to talk so soon, you know, after surgery, you know, I I I still appreciate your sense of humor, your positivity, your gratitude for all that's happened to you. You you really are an old soul in a very new body. And it it it's just amazing for such a young lady to have the perspective that you've got. I I'm also thrilled to death that you had the opportunity to meet Leanne, who I also thought was wonderful. I mean, who gets this? Nobody gets to have a crossover surgery in the same place at the same time by the same doctor with really generational gaps between the the two of you. So just how neat all of that is. And I can't wait to follow your progress and you know see where life takes you because you have so much more in front of you. And you know, some of the very, very, very bottom of my imperfect heart. Thank you. Thank you again.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity. It this knowing that I'd be able to talk with you and be on your podcast, this was probably one of the few things that kept my mind going throughout my surgery and recovery from start to finish.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

Well, and here's the good news you don't have to worry too much about what I'm gonna do with it and when I'm gonna do with it because you're gonna release Wednesday.

SPEAKER_04 45:26

Oh cool.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

So yeah. You're the opener for American Heart Month. And so you you you've been amazing. I'm I'm so glad to see you in the spirits that you are because this is a tough thing for for a variety of different reasons. And as an older person going through it, you look at it and you see your mortality. But as a younger person, you're looking at it going, oh my gosh, I got all this stuff in front of me. How am I gonna get to do all this? You know, how do I get to do it after I've had this? But I I think you're gonna find that as the endothelial dysfunction heals, which it will, it improves over time. It could be up to two years. It just continues to get better. And in the interim, you'll have some sort of a medication or medical therapy that will help you get through it if it's severe. But I think in your case, the good news is you're so young, you've got all this opportunity to heal in front of you, and you've got so much knowledge and health equity that most people don't experience. You know, a life-threatening situation at 21 years old. So I think you're gonna do wonderful and amazing things. I'm I'm I really mean that when I'm anxious to follow you as you as you grow.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Yeah, you're welcome. Now go get some rest. Let those external wires quit bugging you.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Uh and and I'm sure you're hungry by now. You can go eat.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

I'm getting some food.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

Maybe I'm gonna walk right out of here into the little kitchen in our office and cook up some frozen lasagna or something.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

Thank you so much. I appreciate it, Caitlin.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

Thank you for listening to Imperfect Heart. It's my hope that this information helps in some way to improve your situation or will help you better understand this condition. More importantly, that it gives you hope through stories that there is help and you most certainly are not alone. If you've been diagnosed with a myocardial bridge, please be sure to join the private Facebook group, Myocardial Bridge Support Group. For more information about our program or to reach me directly, visit the website myimperfectheart.com. If you like what you heard today, please give a positive review, thumbs up, high five, whatever your app likes. And be sure to share with everyone important to you so they understand what it is you're dealing with. Please subscribe as well. Welcome each day with gratitude and positivity. The views and opinions expressed in this program are solely those of the host and the guest and are not intended to provide, nor are they a suitable substitute for professional care by a doctor, therapist, mental health professional, or other qualified medical professional. Imperfect Heart is a production of Hear Me Now Stuart.